Kicked out cares

I'm becoming a night owl.

Don't get me wrong. It isn't that I'm not a morning person; I just have the chance to relieve my mind of all of the bearings of the day I just lived when the evening rolls around.

Regardless, living in the dorms, you don't get much alone time. Being an introvert, I'll take all the alone time I can get. Sometimes my only chance is when I take my daily evening shower. I don't have to hold conversations with anyone but myself and God and, when it comes down to it, that is the most necessary part of my day anyway.

Ever since Sunday's sermon about worrying slapped me in the face, I've been opting to make better use of that time when I communicate with myself, if you will. Instead of worrying and overthinking matters unnecessarily, pondering useful and positive solutions or concepts has taken its place.

I mean, that sermon was something. I have always known worrying wasn't good - duh. But the emphasis on the fact that God provides was such a blessing that I needed to hear right then and there. Thinking about money and possibilities in the near future was starting to put me in frantic mode. My constant focus on accomplishing my work on time and making people happy had already pushed me over a metaphorical cliff.

But hearing Matthew 6:25-31, although I knew the passage and reference and guessed it would be the basis for the sermon called "Worry Wart", hit me in a new way. It's one thing to read it and know it's there, but another thing entirely to take it to heart. Especially:

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" - Matthew 6:27

I'm going to go with "no."

And it's true. My worries control me, whether I am consciously aware of it or not. The last few days, I've tried to let go. You know something? I feel much better about things. God has shown me things about myself and ways to encourage others. I'm still feeding off his inspiration because he loves me. I don't need to worry about that.

Pray this continues to move in the right direction. I'm praying about it, too.

Things that usually, always and definitely worry me:

1. Pleasing people - why are you all so difficult?
2. Getting all of my work completed well and on time
3. People thinking poorly of me, which I think is different than #1
4. Forgetting something...or somethings...
5. The future (echo...echo...echo...)
6. The past - like I can do anything about it
7. Being wrong
8. Being misunderstood
9. My sins, failures, mistakes, etc.
10. Missing something I shouldn't

Today, not many of those things have trapped me with worrisome thoughts. It's kinda nice. I should let God do it all more often. :)